Along with aptitude, motivation is the primary determiner of learning outcomes in second language (L2) learning. Widely regarded as an activity especially suited to girls, empirical studies from different sociocultural contexts have, with few exceptions, revealed systematic gender differences in L2 motivation. In particular, gender differences are most apparent in relation to establishing an affinity with other L2 speakers, the ability and willingness to identify with the values associated with L2 ethnolinguistic communities and a lack of ethnocentricity. Together these attributes have been categorized as integrativeness (Gardner, 1985). Explanations for observed gender differences vary and, other than a general recognition of the impact of social norms and gender role expectations, no overarching theoretical explanation has yet been attempted. Given the recent paradigm shift in the conceptualization of L2 motivation from a social psychological approach based on identifications with other groups of speakers, to one based on the learner’s internal identification of a future language speaking ‘self’, a timely opportunity is presented to review previous findings. Following an initial discussion of the paradigm shift in L2 motivation theory and the role of gender in conceptions of the self, the literature on the gender gap in integrativeness is reviewed through the lens of self-related theories. A tentative explanation for observed differences that synthesizes the results of previous research and is theoretically consistent with a self approach is proposed. Drawing on the work of, amongst others, Jordan, Kaplan, Miller, Stiver and Surrey (1991), Markus and Kitayama (1991) and Cross and Madson (1997) it is suggested that gender differences can be understood in relation to processes involving the construction and construal of selves, where the selves of males are characterized by independence whilst those of females emphasize interdependence.